paranoid adventures

SO OH MY  FREAKING GEORGE MICHAEL, I am probably one of the most over thinkers on this planet ,okay close,some people have weirder problems like being boring and an obsession with structural behaviour which makes me so uncomfortable that I just want to run around naked saying "I'm free I'm free!". I am so paranoid of becoming them ( The perfect person or so they like to think makes me so uncomfortable, don't you ever just want to say something to break the ice and bring them to your side, but that doesn't ever happen. NO,singing on a microphone and saying get the party started and being hushed by a 20 year old for being to out there ( seriously? mmmmm)
These are a few other things that fuel my paranoia:

• Parking my car, I'm always paranoid when I'm reversing .It's like all of a sudden you've knocked over someone and then someone has a heart attack next to you, followed by a baby ( which so would be twins), then Nelson Mandela would come out and say something deep and meaningful and there be a orchestra of music around you to make impact on how badly you reversed outside your parking, man parking is hectic.

• Serious board meetings, when everyone has to be so serious,but have you ever looked at people trying to stay awake and watch them falling asleep, it truly is one of the funniest things to watch, except when you turn them into animals and animate them with funny British accents sniffing each other, then you paranoid that you are going to start laughing so you clench your jaw, have some water and then start chocking on the water. Man I'm paranoid of meetings.

• Meeting people for the first time man that's the worst. Going to a party and a few people know each other and you kinda sit there should you grab a drink or water, should you eat the snacks, play with your blackberry ( Are you playing with your blackberry too much?), how many times can you honestly pee to distract yourself, do these people think you have an excess urine problem. Exchanging details IE "Hi I'm Sam, you say I'm Emma and the question is what do you do? Is this a career or a lifestyle do you make a bit of a joke about your career or do you going in with the serious board meeting approach.?

Stay tuned for more paranoid events I find myself in. This is nothing, I will let you know of the encounters I have ( there is no cure for this, my TWO therapists have tried to find it.You're wondering why I have two therapists? Simply for the pure fact that I don't want them to think that I am paranoid! Don't judge me, please ( You are aren't you? nervous chuckle)  
 I hope you all know this is done in a funny way and i am a funny person I'm sure.... heehee.